excuses, excuses

I know, its been a little while since my last posting and I promise, dear blog, that I did not forget about you. In fact, I have lots to say.

But for right now, all my words are going into this monster of a paper I am writing for my English class. It is a 10 page, 3000 word essay. I'm writing on Film v. Digital Photography.

This class ends on Friday and I will be so glad to be done with it, it was a killer class. It does however take me one step closer to my associate degree.

I have 3 more classes to finish, one that I am currently taking that doesn't end until the end of July, and then 2 more classes this Fall. Then I will be DONE! I can't wait.

Unfortunately, you will have to wait until Friday. HA!

sweet little 'nuthins

Ben is such a cute little kid. He's says the funniest things sometimes. I hope you can all appreciates these, too...

• "Mommy, I love you hugs"
• "Mommy, you don't tell me" (umm.. yes I DO!) lol
• (as he runs down the hall to the "bafroom": "No, No, (insert accurate name for male genitalia) we only go on da potty!!!"
• "I gonna do something to you!"
• "I'm a ghost!"
• "you put on my wedding dress!" (after watching WAY too much 'Say Yes to the Dress' with me!)
• "I'm gonna just on you"
• " behold, Behold, BEHOLD" (he's version of reading the scriptures, at least we know he's listening.. sorta)
• "It's Sunday?" (when I tell him he can't watch a show)
• Mommy, you GO to class"
• "Mommy, I love you. No, I love you MORE!"
• "We keep sisters?" " I wanna  keep them!"

I'll put more up as I remember them or he says them. Hope you enjoyed these little Ben-isms.

one year later....

\

That right, folks. Friday, it was the one year anniversary of my baby girls coming home. It was also my original due date. It was such a special day, after 4 long months of being in the hospital. They have meshed into our lives so completely that we know they were meant to be here. It hasn't always been easy, far from it, but definitely rewarding. They represent happiness, faith, hope, love, beauty and strength and so much more. They have taught not only us but those around them to never give up. Here are a few pictures of their birth, their journey and their current pictures:

 Addison, 1 day old

 Peyton, 1 day old

 compared to a ruler, 4 weeks

 compared to a newborn diaper, 4 weeks

 Peyton, b/w 2-3 months old

 Addison, deciding if its food or just a paci

 Ready to come home!

 Yipee! We're going home!!

 Snuggle bunnies

These next two picture remind me of someone who just took their glasses off. You know how some people just look a little different? Well, here they are without their oxygen and they look slightly odd to me.. lol

 not posed

 not posed again, but super cute!!

 Blessing Day, 8 months old

 Addison, Easter 2011

Peyton, Easter 2011

Hope you enjoyed the pictures. They're so adorable, right?

The pickiest of the picky

Now, like I said, I'm not usually a big worrier, but lately, Ben is worrying me. We let him get weighed at each of the girl's appointments so he doesn't feel left out and he has sat at 30 lbs. give or take 1 lb. for over 6 months. It wouldn't really concern me except for the fact that I just learned his BMI went down not huge, but a significant amount. Not a good sign. He's not eating as much and he is super picky about what he does eat. I pour him cereal in the morning which he take 2 bites of them he's done. Lunch and dinner are the same. I talked with someone at WIC about it and this is what she said:

• No snacks. Give a big meal  and if he doesn't eat then he has to wait. It's to train him to eat all his food.
• Don't force him to sit there until he is done. It creates control issues.
• Don't bribe.
• Pour calories into what he will eat. Whole milk and other food that are high in calories to make up for the fact that he doesn't eat much.

Now, I understand that it is normal to go through stages of not wanting to eat, but not gaining anything in 6 months, is a little ridiculous.  Am I crazy for worrying that he won't eat?

"that kind of mom"

I'm not a big worrier. I'm the type of mom that would pop that nuk back in my baby's mouth even if it fell of the grass/ sidewalk, etc. (just an example.) However, with the girl's I becamse that ind of mom. The one that worried constantly if another kid nearby had a runny nose. I kept my girls home for a whiles in quarantine, but even them I took them out before their time was up. The only thing I am strict about is their lungs. Absolutely no one around them that has RSV or other such big illnesses, and absolutely never around anyone who smokes.

  Now that my girls are bigger, I worry less about them, unless it comes to their lungs. They had Chronic Lung Disease for so long that they have a slightly diminished lung capacity. Its getting better, but they did qualify for synagis, a vaccine for RSV. Its very expensive and only a few babies even qualify to get it.

This week all my babies have croup. It worried me enough that I got a steroid from the Dr. but I haven't needed to use it yet and I won't unless I have to. Giving there a steroid and night is just asking for sleep trouble. We did that once with Ben and it was literally the worst night we had with him.

So, what kind of mother am I? One that doesn't like medication unless its absolutely necessary. I usually use homeopathic remedies or medications, not counting tylenol or IBprofen. Its so much better for my babies without all the push for medication that Drs seem to give you. Here is the lsit of things my babies are on right now:
Ben: colloidal silver (oral and a few drops in his ear for his ear infection ), tylenol for the pain
       Umcka for his croup (its not a herb, its the name of a remedy), and Benadryl for his allergies
The girls are only on Umcka and tylenol for their teething.

Ben has the humidifier right now, but it will be moved into the girl's room otnight along with their air purifier.

On a side note: Here are the girl's 15 month stats:

Addison:
28 in. tall
16 lbs. 4 oz.

Peyton: 
28 1/4 in. tall
15 lbs. 14.5 oz.
Both are approaching the 5th percentile

Thats what kind of mom I am.
P.S. I did keep the girls in my room for a night so I could hear them breathe. Yeah, I know, crazy, huh? lol just kidding.

      

sometimes its lonely inside my head

   Well, the hubby is going out of town in a few weeks. He's been telling lots of people, so that I'll have help with the three little munchkins. He says he's doing it so people will visit and I won't be lonely. But honestly? Without him here, I'm already lonely.

   Maybe its because I've moved so many time, but I feel lonely a lot. Maybe its because I've moved so many time, but I'm pretty good at making friends but not keeping them long term. I mean, they're still my friends, but we're not super close anymore. I'm noticing it more and more. People who I thought I was close to, I'm really not. There is only one person who has been in my life for longer than the time I've lived there. She's still my best friend. We still talk.

   I thought I had friends in HS, I thought I had friends from youth, but none of them want to have anything to do with me anymore. The more I think about it, the more it makes sense. I didn't grow up with any of them. I only met them when I was 14. They were nice and I guess they tried to be friends with me, but they don't want to anymore. Its hard breaking into a group of friends that have know each other practically their whole lives.

    Whenever I go home to VA, nobody is excited to see me or get together. Its hard to accept that people just don't care anymore. Its hard to see their relationships with each other and to not be included.  Its the same everywhere I go.
   
    We've moved 4 times in our 4 years of marriage and for the most part we've kept a pretty secure group of friends. They've gotten us through so much. THey are definitely ones we will keep in touch with.

Its just hard living like you have no one in your past. Its lonely. But maybe its just all in my head.
 

 

help! in need of some yummy ideas

I've been doing much better at planning dinners and actually making them, as opposed to just making spaghetti or cooking a few chicken breasts.

However, I still find myself struggling over lunches. Probably because Ben is so pick (he gets that from me). I can make sandwiches and he eats only the cheese and meat. Or soup, He loves Ramen. Honestly? I can't think of anything else to feed him for lunch besides leftovers and that's my territory!

SO, I need lunch ideas that will fly with a picky little angel! lol Thanks for your help!!

Reasons I love Summer Time

Isn't summer the best season ever? Its definitely MY favorite season ever.. I totally hate winter and coldness with a passion. Anyways, I want to list some of my favorite things that I look forward to in the summer time:

1. warmth
2. sunshine
3. popsicles
4. long walks
5. fresh cut grass
6. parks
7. swings
8. windows downs in the car
9. coolness at night
10. windows open with a slight breeze
11. camping
12. BBQs
13. naps in sunbeams
14. tanning
15. flip-flops
16. capri-pants (even if I can't wear them on campus)
17. pretty flowers
18. feeding the ducks
19. fishing
20. spray park/ swimming/ water
21. sprinklers
22. growing a garden
23. fresh veggies
24. colorful photography
25. playing in the yard
26. fresh lemonade
27. sitting on the porch
28. red natural highlights in my hair
29. soft serve ice cream
30. the beach w/ my toes in the warm sand

MMMmmm... just thinking about it makes me happy! 

what to do, what to do . . .

   Its just been one of those days. I ate hardly anything all day because I was running around all day. Such a tiring day to say the least.

   Yesterday was so amazing! It was the best weather we've had all year, which is pretty sad because it almost half way through the year already.  After my class, we played at the park then walked to Gator Jack's and KiwiLoco. Best family date night! It was all so yummy!! Oh so much fun in the sun.

   Today, however, was even better than yesterday, weather wise. I just didn't get to enjoy it until it was almost gone. See, last night Ben got this really bad cough that worried me. I thought it might be croup but it ended up going away today. I was still worried about it this morning so I made an appointment with the Dr.( that was later canceled) Anyways, for Mother's day Toby gave me a haircut. No, he did not cut my hair but he let me get my hair done! My friend from church did it, and she did a great job! I got highlight and tomorrow I got back for my haircut because I had class before we had time to do it. I'm excited! Anyways, I had to basically run to class, then run home because we had dinner to get to some friends, then on to yet another friend's birthday party! (HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LANDON!!)
  So, here's to hoping tomorrow will stay nice for tomorrow because I want to go garage saleing tomorrow with a friend. Oh, and I have a group project to work on, and of course my haircut. Phew, my weekend just got busy. Ha.

strange things are happening

So, like I have said recently, this semester is kicking my trash. I've never been so busy, at least since high school. However, this time is different. Instead of all these classes that I've taking, I have 3 kids plus an insane class. Last night I had so much homework: Work on my 5-6 pg paper (due friday) work on my critique paper (5-6 pg), read an 11 pg. article, read Ch. 5, and work on our group project. No fun. I was up until midnight doing homework then was doing it until just before class. This stress is getting to me and actually affecting me physically. I have been having more headaches, more backaches, and especially more tired. Also, I've been having these episodes of hypoglycemia. It where my blood sugar drops. I get weak, tired, light-headed, insanely hungry. The only thing that brings me out of it is sugar. the first time it happened, I tried eating crackers but it just got worse, and I felt like a needed a popsicle. It got better after that. I've had a few more episodes and sugar always brings me out of it. I don't have insurance, so going to the Dr. isn't possible, so I asked hte next best thing: my mom and WebMD.com  All say that the only thing the dr is gonna do is make sure you know to have some simple sugars an hand so it doesn't get out of control. What luck, I love candy!!
It also said that it can be caused by stress, which is the most likely, so hopefully it goes away after this semester or even this block! Here's to hoping!

he love me, he loves me not, HE LOVES ME!!

Its true. He loves me.

Not that I haven't know this for over 4 years, but I just have to say it here, that I am so grateful that I've found someone to spend the rest of my life to love and who loves me more than words can say. Anyone who knows me, knows that this past years has the been the hardest of our lives and we've become so much closer together through it. He strengthens me in every way possible!

Lately, with both of us being in school and with 3 kids it hard to find time for a date night out. Last night, however, he brought me home flowers. For no reason, but that he wanted to show me how much me loves me.

(Sidenote: He says that whenever he goes to get flowers, he always runs into someone he knows and when they comment how sweet it is that he is getting flowers, he feels as if it doesn't count anymore because someone else know... how sweet is that?  Its ok, Babe, it totally counts!

Anyways, he showed me how much he loves me and I want to do the same. He's been my best friend, the person I can always rely on to keep my secrets, to whisper how beautiful I am, and the best father in the world. I'm so  lucky to have you, baby!

cute things are happenning all around

My babies are growing up and getting so big!!! Peyton cut her first tooth today. Its the first one between the two of them and we expect Addison to follow suite in the next week. That's how its always been.
Today was a gorgeous day. We played outside for awhile and the girls actually crawled around in the grass, Peyton whined for a bit, but she did ok after that. I fixed the straps on my jogging stroller and Toby planted our bulbs. I wish I knew exactly what they were, but I'm hoping they'll be beautiful. Then we made tacquitos and they were amazing! Best tacquitos ever!! Now I will spend the rest of the night doing my homework like a good little girl. yippee.. (sarcasm intended!)

you should see my mind

Oh man. This semester is taking its toll on my already. I'm so tired and I still have so far to go. Literally? there is only about 1 month left of this crazy class. However, I have three 5-6 page papers to write in that time. Oh man. That's about all I can say. I'm back to taking a short nap during the day because my mind is so tired. I just spent the last few hours working on a project that is due tomorrow. I've been working on it for about a week now and I'm just finishing it up. Phew. Now tomorrow, before class, I have homework to get done. Oh man. hmmm.. I feel like I'm saying that a lot. Must mean I'm tired if I can't even think of something else to say. I think I used my thesaurus so much tonight to help with words that I could think of. Blah. <---- that's how I feel right now. I think I'll go to bed. Oh wait, I still have science homework to do. Oh man. Screw it, I'm going to bed. Hello, fluffy pillow!!! I'll write more when my brain comes back from vacation.

order in chaos

I'm not a neat person. I have struggled my whole life with being messy. Sometimes I just can't bring myself to do anything about the mess in my house. Until now. Toby and I set a goal of keeping our house at least in some semblance of order. We started with one room and cleaned it until it was perfect. We then moved from room to room doing the same thing while still keeping the other room in order.
I also found an idea on another mmb's blog (which I can't remember where, just know it wasn't my idea). The idea is that you write down the chores that need to be done on individual cards (she cut out cards from the back of a cereal box) and write down all the chores. As you complete them, you flip them over. You can change the order everyday, but you still have a way of checking of your list and also keep track of them! Here's mine:

Another thing we were struggling with is our food budget and overspending on food. I got this idea from a email my mom sent me, even though I changed it a little. We label each day with a different food category. This way we can write out a menu and know exactly how to plan out our meals with plenty of variety. Its been such a help with keep us in check with our budget. 

We have done so well this month by doing this and we even has some left over in our budget at the end of the month. We only go shopping once and week unless we forgot something on our list. We HAD to make a list. Its been a lifesaver! We even throw in new recipes if we think we can fit them in. Here is this week's schedule:
Monday: Hot dogs w/ Mac&Cheese ( a kid's favorite!)
Tuesday: Chicken Alfredo
Wednesday: Tacquitos
Thursday: Chicken Strips w/ Winger's Sauce and fries
Friday: PIZZA NIGHT!! (homemade pizza rolls)
Saturday: Orange Chicken

I'm still looking for some other ideas on how you keep you house clean or what your routine is?

Maybe this time it will work

I think this is the fourth time I've tried this, so hopefully nothing gets screwed up this time, because I'm not doing it again!

Day 24-A letter to your parents

  Dear Mom and Dad,

     Im sure that you love me, but I think you think your grand kids are the bee's knees!

   Love, Samm

P.S. your grand kids love you too!!

 
Day 25-What I would find in your bag
   I use mainly my diaper bag:

1. gdiapers w/ cloth inserts

2. wetbag

3. changing pad

4. about a bazillion toys

5. enough snacks to feed and army

6. books

7. wallett

8. cell phone

9. wipes

10. water bottle and sippy cups

 

Day 26-What do you think about your friends
   All my friends are pretty awesome, but i have the greatest friend in the world. She's always visiting me on my special occasions. She came up for my wedding (it was a surprise), and she came up to support me after my girls were born. Its means everything to me that she is always there for me!! I hope I can do the same.

 

Day 27-Why you are doing this 30 day challenge

    At first I thought it would be fun, but this just got old and long and I kept forgetting. It has been good to get things down and it got me going on blogging again. This is the most I've ever blogged, I believe. I hope others have enjoyed learning a little bit more about me. Next time, I'll try and find a funner one (can you say that?! :)  )
Day 28-A picture of you from last year and now-how have you changed?

 Then

Now

I have learned a ton this past year. I have gone from being responsible for one person to 3. Yep, we jumped from 1 kid to 3 in one pregnancy. It has been a struggle, but I've learned patience and looking for the good in your trials. Trials are given up to strengthen us and teach us. As a family, we have grown through saying family prayers and reading scriptures. We have definitely noticed a change in that we feel the evil forces working harder and harder against us. It just testifies that we are on the right track.

 

Day 29-In this past month, what have you learned?

   I have learned to be more organized. I have been better at shopping and saving and making wholesome meals, even it if takes a little more time. Its been good, me going back to school to get my Associates Degree. I hope it teaches my children the importance of education.
 

Day 30-Your favorite song

   Bryan Adams "Summer of '69" Best song since 1st grade! 'Nuff said.

YES! It worked! I'm done with this challenge! It finally worked out! Hope you enjoyed it!