excuses, excuses

I know, its been a little while since my last posting and I promise, dear blog, that I did not forget about you. In fact, I have lots to say.

But for right now, all my words are going into this monster of a paper I am writing for my English class. It is a 10 page, 3000 word essay. I'm writing on Film v. Digital Photography.

This class ends on Friday and I will be so glad to be done with it, it was a killer class. It does however take me one step closer to my associate degree.

I have 3 more classes to finish, one that I am currently taking that doesn't end until the end of July, and then 2 more classes this Fall. Then I will be DONE! I can't wait.

Unfortunately, you will have to wait until Friday. HA!

sweet little 'nuthins

Ben is such a cute little kid. He's says the funniest things sometimes. I hope you can all appreciates these, too...

• "Mommy, I love you hugs"
• "Mommy, you don't tell me" (umm.. yes I DO!) lol
• (as he runs down the hall to the "bafroom": "No, No, (insert accurate name for male genitalia) we only go on da potty!!!"
• "I gonna do something to you!"
• "I'm a ghost!"
• "you put on my wedding dress!" (after watching WAY too much 'Say Yes to the Dress' with me!)
• "I'm gonna just on you"
• " behold, Behold, BEHOLD" (he's version of reading the scriptures, at least we know he's listening.. sorta)
• "It's Sunday?" (when I tell him he can't watch a show)
• Mommy, you GO to class"
• "Mommy, I love you. No, I love you MORE!"
• "We keep sisters?" " I wanna  keep them!"

I'll put more up as I remember them or he says them. Hope you enjoyed these little Ben-isms.

one year later....

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That right, folks. Friday, it was the one year anniversary of my baby girls coming home. It was also my original due date. It was such a special day, after 4 long months of being in the hospital. They have meshed into our lives so completely that we know they were meant to be here. It hasn't always been easy, far from it, but definitely rewarding. They represent happiness, faith, hope, love, beauty and strength and so much more. They have taught not only us but those around them to never give up. Here are a few pictures of their birth, their journey and their current pictures:

 Addison, 1 day old

 Peyton, 1 day old

 compared to a ruler, 4 weeks

 compared to a newborn diaper, 4 weeks

 Peyton, b/w 2-3 months old

 Addison, deciding if its food or just a paci

 Ready to come home!

 Yipee! We're going home!!

 Snuggle bunnies

These next two picture remind me of someone who just took their glasses off. You know how some people just look a little different? Well, here they are without their oxygen and they look slightly odd to me.. lol

 not posed

 not posed again, but super cute!!

 Blessing Day, 8 months old

 Addison, Easter 2011

Peyton, Easter 2011

Hope you enjoyed the pictures. They're so adorable, right?

The pickiest of the picky

Now, like I said, I'm not usually a big worrier, but lately, Ben is worrying me. We let him get weighed at each of the girl's appointments so he doesn't feel left out and he has sat at 30 lbs. give or take 1 lb. for over 6 months. It wouldn't really concern me except for the fact that I just learned his BMI went down not huge, but a significant amount. Not a good sign. He's not eating as much and he is super picky about what he does eat. I pour him cereal in the morning which he take 2 bites of them he's done. Lunch and dinner are the same. I talked with someone at WIC about it and this is what she said:

• No snacks. Give a big meal  and if he doesn't eat then he has to wait. It's to train him to eat all his food.
• Don't force him to sit there until he is done. It creates control issues.
• Don't bribe.
• Pour calories into what he will eat. Whole milk and other food that are high in calories to make up for the fact that he doesn't eat much.

Now, I understand that it is normal to go through stages of not wanting to eat, but not gaining anything in 6 months, is a little ridiculous.  Am I crazy for worrying that he won't eat?

"that kind of mom"

I'm not a big worrier. I'm the type of mom that would pop that nuk back in my baby's mouth even if it fell of the grass/ sidewalk, etc. (just an example.) However, with the girl's I becamse that ind of mom. The one that worried constantly if another kid nearby had a runny nose. I kept my girls home for a whiles in quarantine, but even them I took them out before their time was up. The only thing I am strict about is their lungs. Absolutely no one around them that has RSV or other such big illnesses, and absolutely never around anyone who smokes.

  Now that my girls are bigger, I worry less about them, unless it comes to their lungs. They had Chronic Lung Disease for so long that they have a slightly diminished lung capacity. Its getting better, but they did qualify for synagis, a vaccine for RSV. Its very expensive and only a few babies even qualify to get it.

This week all my babies have croup. It worried me enough that I got a steroid from the Dr. but I haven't needed to use it yet and I won't unless I have to. Giving there a steroid and night is just asking for sleep trouble. We did that once with Ben and it was literally the worst night we had with him.

So, what kind of mother am I? One that doesn't like medication unless its absolutely necessary. I usually use homeopathic remedies or medications, not counting tylenol or IBprofen. Its so much better for my babies without all the push for medication that Drs seem to give you. Here is the lsit of things my babies are on right now:
Ben: colloidal silver (oral and a few drops in his ear for his ear infection ), tylenol for the pain
       Umcka for his croup (its not a herb, its the name of a remedy), and Benadryl for his allergies
The girls are only on Umcka and tylenol for their teething.

Ben has the humidifier right now, but it will be moved into the girl's room otnight along with their air purifier.

On a side note: Here are the girl's 15 month stats:

Addison:
28 in. tall
16 lbs. 4 oz.

Peyton: 
28 1/4 in. tall
15 lbs. 14.5 oz.
Both are approaching the 5th percentile

Thats what kind of mom I am.
P.S. I did keep the girls in my room for a night so I could hear them breathe. Yeah, I know, crazy, huh? lol just kidding.

      

sometimes its lonely inside my head

   Well, the hubby is going out of town in a few weeks. He's been telling lots of people, so that I'll have help with the three little munchkins. He says he's doing it so people will visit and I won't be lonely. But honestly? Without him here, I'm already lonely.

   Maybe its because I've moved so many time, but I feel lonely a lot. Maybe its because I've moved so many time, but I'm pretty good at making friends but not keeping them long term. I mean, they're still my friends, but we're not super close anymore. I'm noticing it more and more. People who I thought I was close to, I'm really not. There is only one person who has been in my life for longer than the time I've lived there. She's still my best friend. We still talk.

   I thought I had friends in HS, I thought I had friends from youth, but none of them want to have anything to do with me anymore. The more I think about it, the more it makes sense. I didn't grow up with any of them. I only met them when I was 14. They were nice and I guess they tried to be friends with me, but they don't want to anymore. Its hard breaking into a group of friends that have know each other practically their whole lives.

    Whenever I go home to VA, nobody is excited to see me or get together. Its hard to accept that people just don't care anymore. Its hard to see their relationships with each other and to not be included.  Its the same everywhere I go.
   
    We've moved 4 times in our 4 years of marriage and for the most part we've kept a pretty secure group of friends. They've gotten us through so much. THey are definitely ones we will keep in touch with.

Its just hard living like you have no one in your past. Its lonely. But maybe its just all in my head.
 

 

help! in need of some yummy ideas

I've been doing much better at planning dinners and actually making them, as opposed to just making spaghetti or cooking a few chicken breasts.

However, I still find myself struggling over lunches. Probably because Ben is so pick (he gets that from me). I can make sandwiches and he eats only the cheese and meat. Or soup, He loves Ramen. Honestly? I can't think of anything else to feed him for lunch besides leftovers and that's my territory!

SO, I need lunch ideas that will fly with a picky little angel! lol Thanks for your help!!