Sunday, June 12, 2011

last one, then some uppers

So I promise that this will be my last "complaining" blog, then I'll post some awesome pictures of my little chickadees!

  So, these past few weeks have been really hard on me. I haven't been feel well at all, but I've had to keep going with on down time, as most mothers know. I'm completely stumped as to what it could be. I know I'm not pregnant, yet I've only felt this way 2 times before. It feel like it could be the flu, but to have these symptoms for 3 weeks straight and only have them intensify? I feel nauseous, weak, light headed, starving, yet I'm not hungry to eat. Its weird. And it been coupled with another unexpected plight: my eyesight!

I've had perfet vision my whole life, yet just recently and abruptly, my eyesight worsened so much that I had trouble seeing anything thats more than 5 feet in front of me. I mean I can see, but its blurry and I can't read words. Until Satruday night it didn't really affect my driving. But man, it got so badm it scared the crap out of me.

I accidentally reserved a redbox in a town 15 minutes away, so I had to run down there and it had just turned dark. I didn't think anything of it until I got onto the highway and all the lights because little fuzzy blobs. Still, It wasn't bad, I could see the lines and move appropriately. Then, I hit construction. My side of the highway had to merge onto the other side, and all of a sudden, these lights coming the other way were in my eyes and I couldn't make out my lines and barely make out the cones telling me where to go. It started to scary me bad, but i couldn't stop because I didn't have anywhere to go. It was one lane traffic both ways, so just one little come kept me from going into the other lane. I tried to keep an eye on the cones, but the light coming at me made them all blur together. I kept fearing the end of the construction because I was sure I would miss the turn back into my side of the highway and collide head on with the other lane. Thankfully, no cars were approaching when that time came, so I could barely make it out, but I did. I was so scared and my fingers were white because I was gripping the wheel so hard. I wouldn't let myself cry because that would just make everything worse. So, i pick up my movies, hoping that somehow I would be able to make it home safely. As soon as I turned out of the parking lot, another truck, pulling a horse trailer pulled out, too. I was able to follow this trailer, literally the whole way home, right up to my exit. It was amazing, it lead me home. I put the car in park and literally broke down. It was so hard just to go get these movies and I was so scared! I love driving and this was so hard to do. I've never had problems like this before.
 So, even though we have no insurance, we're going to get my eyes checked because this is just dangerous. I literally can't see signs where we are coming up on them, only when we are practically past them. I can't even read the blub about my netflix show unless I'm practically 3 feet away.

And it no just slightly blurry, its bad blurry. I can sit in the third row at church and not see the hymn numbers at all. I can't even tell how many numbers are there if they're close together.

So, that's my emotional vomit for the weekend. Life stinks sometime, but I know we'll get through this, somewhat intact, I would assume. Better me that my kids, because I hate listening to crying, lol.

Here's to another week in a not-so-exciting paradise

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