Trial, trial, and oh, gues what? MORE TRIALS!

Its pouring so hard here, we might as well be in a hurricane. Category 5. (Excuse my analogy if you've never been through a hurricane.)

Not many people knew, but when we found out about the diabetes it was because it was my first doctors appointment for my 3rd pregnancy. :)  It was a huge surprise, the diabetes that is. We had been trying to get pregnant, so it was so much fun, finally being pregnant.

However, things rarely turn out as we want them. Yesterday I miscarried. I started bleeding the previous night and I must say I wasn't really surprised. I guess it was just a gut feeling that I'd had. I later learned that Toby had had the same initial feeling. We opted to do a d&c just to get things over with, but that meant day surgery and not eating for 8 hours, which as you can imagine for a diabetic is next to impossible. SO i had to go in about 4 hours before I needed to just so they could hook me up to an IV and monitor my blood sugars that way. Not so much fun. Anyways, the surgery went well and I'm doing great physically.

Like I said before, we're really not very surprised that I miscarried. I guess I'd been prepared like I was when the girls came early, but I just didn't want to admit it. There were a few signs I was ignoring, like the fact that my hair was still falling out.. A LOT, and with the past pregnancies, it never did.

Anyways, I guess the point of this post was to let everyone know that we're doing ok. Not so much today, because I totally broke down today. Not because of the baby, really, just a combination of everything that has been going on. Its been really hard lately with my health problems and dealing with so many huge changes in our lives. I'm just waiting for the blessings to come, the sliver linings to appear, and the sun to start shining because I'm almost gone. I'm reaching the end of my rope. God carry me, because I'm not sure how much further I can go.